The discomfort of comfort zones
Hi there!
One of life’s great ironies is that comfort zones are not actually very comfortable. Certainly not for people who are interested in growth and change.
But Sarah, you might say, do we always have to be in a state of growth and stretching towards new things? Sometimes it’s nice to just reap the fruit of our labours and enjoy where we are right now!
You are right. But so am I :)
I think you can grow and stretch forwards AND appreciate where you are right now, through gratitude, daily reflection, mindful living, meditation. And it’s the combination of the two states that creates a fulfilling life.
But back to comfort zones.
When you can see the things that you want to achieve in your life, how you want life to be, changes you want to make, and you know that are not making them, in fact you are avoiding them, that’s not comfortable. No matter how stable you feel in your present life, if you KNOW you could do and be better, that bigger things are out there waiting for you, that creates tension and discomfort.
But when you are run by your fears (the what ifs, the panics about failure, other people’s opinions, fear of being visible etc), which seem to live just outside the comfort zone, you feel compelled to stay in the nicer, neutral state of the comfort zone - even though you still have this of discomfort.
Comfort zones can also be seen as a prison.
Now, I don’t often advise clients to leap too far beyond their comfort zone - after all, one of my signature coaching questions is ‘how can you make this easy?’.
And by the way, that’s not to say that I don’t think there is a time and a place for big decisions, there definitely are. Leave the job, start the business, file for divorce, move cities.
However, on an ongoing basis, it’s much better to do things that have you just teetering over the edge of your comfort zone - imagine Kate Winslet in Titanic!
Stretching yourself a little on a regular basis, going for growth in incremental steps is more sustainable and most often the best course of action anyway. Not everything can or needs to be a big leap.
And sometimes what happens is that a series of small steps gives you the confidence to take bigger, faster steps. Like compound interest, confidence can grow quickly and we can start to out run our fears and doubts once we get going.
So you might start taking a few small steps to investigate turning your side hustle into a business and then bam. You start to run and a business is born. And the more you teeter in this way and move from comfort zone, through the fear zone and into the growth and achievement zone, the more used to being outside the comfort zone you become, the more you realise that there was no real comfort there, it was just an illusion.
Encouraging those smaller steps, finding the stretch point between challenging but ok and downright scary is what I do with clients and with those working on my group programme. Growth can still happen in the sweet spot between the two!
Having someone neutral but interested watch how you operate around your comfort zone, the goals you set and the steps you take can be really invaluable. If you’d like to join my group programme Believe & Achieve, we start on Thursday 5 October. You can find out more HERE and book into a chat with me HERE if you need more information.
If you’d prefer to work 1:1, we can do that too. I have space for 2 new clients in October. Find out more HERE.
With love,
Sarah x