Don't copy what they do, notice who they are

The only helpful way to allow the success of others to guide yours

Photo: By me, wind in the grasses at Low Hauxley, Northumberland

Hey you,

It’s really tempting, in the quest for your own success, to try to mirror the success of others.

So much collective energy is used up in the creative business space by people trying to see how other people have got to where they are and what steps they took to build their following, to make sales, to be noticed.

How did they grow their following, get the book deal, sell their art? What’s the magic formula, the secret sauce?

But you cannot ever fully pull back the curtain and see all the things that happened to someone to bring them to the place where they are today. See what’s in the gap between a result and how that result was arrived at.

We can’t see what shaped them, who they know and the strategies and mishaps that got them from A to B. And we certainly can’t replicate them. Most of them couldn’t have told you at the time how they were going to get to where they ended up - as Steve Jobs said, you can’t connect the dots forwards, you can only connect them looking backwards.

Sometimes, when we think of people who we admire, we are looking at people who built their reputation/ following/ business in different times. In previous years, pre 2015 for example, people found it easy to build a social media following for example, because the algorithms were different and it was much more of a level playing field.

Anyone who has set up social accounts for a business since then and tried to grow a following organically will testify that it feels like an uphill slog, very much a slow burn.

Similarly, in the early days of blogging, it was easier to build a following and subscribers, simply because the competition was much, much smaller. Less bloggers, the novelty, et voila, easier list building. Less of a playfield for a publisher or media company to find you in too.

Some people also just get a leg up. They have some sort of privilege, people who can open doors at a crucial point. Not replicable.

Others are in the right place at the right time. Again, hard to replicate.

Timing, chance, luck. They all count.

There’s no real blueprint to success, which is why a lot of the business and coaching programmes on sale don’t work for most people, because you can’t always just follow what someone else has done and get to where you want to be. And nor should you need to; you must find your own best way. They are not you; you are not them.

That’s not to say that you can’t learn from other people, not at all. But you have to focus on the right things, which is in the main, not what they DO but who they ARE.

When I think about people I have known, worked with or been in friendships with who feel like ‘successful’ people, I look at their behaviours and personality traits.

The following are examples of things I have noticed that successful people DO which contribute to their achievements;

Face their fears - they don’t stay in their comfort zones.

Ask for support - they don’t claim to know everything and don’t let lack of knowledge or experience hold them back - they ask for help when they need it.

Connect with their purpose - they choose to live and work from a place of purpose and meaning. They work out what’s important to them and they express that through their creativity, the businesses they build and the work that they do.

Take responsibility - they don’t sit around waiting for things to happen, they don’t try to get off the hook or pass the buck whenever they make a mistake. they' don’t sit around doing nothing when things aren’t going their way.

Take action - they find ways around procrastination and distractions and set the right goals and actions to take them to where they want to be.

Go with their gut - a MASSIVE thing which I could talk or write about for hours, but I emphasise enough the importance of tuning into and trusting your instincts. You’ll almost never be wrong about something or someone if you do.

Put themselves first - not all the time, but sometimes and perhaps often. People who can prioritise their own needs and hold boundaries around them, have the time, energy and focus to go for what they want.

I could go on but I won’t :) BUT I would love to hear from you about what you have noticed about the people in your life who are successful, happy, content - I’m not just talking money here either, I’m talking wholehearted people, people who seem to be winning at life - what are they doing, that we could all learn from?

If you’re reading this in email, click through to comment and if you’re reading on the Substack app - you know what to do - comments for this post are open to all and I am so curious to hear what you have noticed about successful behaviour in friends, colleagues and creatives that you admire.

BTW these traits I have listed above are all things you get to explore in my Believe & Achieve coaching group. You get to spend time every week with me and eight wonderful women, working on your goals, creating your own success, your own way and whatever that means to you.

Recently we’ve been talking about goal setting, the ups and downs of social media, goals have been set around sorting out websites, finding wholesale suppliers, running events, creating boundaries, facing fears - all sorts. And I am currently creating a great workshop for them on content creation which is happening next week.

Current members have a range of creative businesses including textile art, jewellery design, garden design, therapeutic coaching, holistic wellness and beauty, illustration and more.

If you’d like to join or even just chat it through with no sales pitch at all, join me on a 1:1 zoom call - click HERE to book one.

With love,

Sarah x